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Feel Something - Greg/Jeff Songfic - Just Another Journal
zombie_kitty666
zombie_kitty666
Feel Something - Greg/Jeff Songfic
Title: Feel Something.
Fandom: Whose Line is it Anyway.
Words: 2373.
Pairing(s): Greg/Jeff.
Warnings: Angst & some swearing.
Disclaimer: I don't make any money from this, just for fun.
A/N: A fic inspired by the song "Over My Head" by The Fray. I had this planned in my head easily enough but found it very hard to transfer to the word doc - Getting in the right mindset to write proper Greg/Jeff angst is difficult - They are after all just the perfect example of happy quirky cuteness, but I've had an attempt anyway...


Chip groaned, flicking his cards down onto the table as Ryan smirked and took in the pot, taking with him the last of Chip’s poker chips.

“Looks like you’ve lost all your chips Chip.” Ryan’s manager giggled before shaking her hair slightly drunkenly and taking another drink..

Jeff rolled his eyes at her and glanced over at the bar. “Hey Greg, want in? Chip just bombed out.”

Greg shook his head from his seat without turning round, as Chip squeaked “I didn’t ‘bomb’ out!” indignantly.

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m fucking sure Jeff!”

Jeff and everyone else at the table blinked at Greg’s outburst and watched as he picked up his drink and stalked quietly out of the room.

“I wish I knew what was wrong.” Jeff sighed heavily as he leaned back in his chair.

“If he wants to tell you he will.” Ryan said quietly as he began shuffling the cards up, ready to deal again.

Over the course of the trip Greg had become more and more distracted and isolated, as well as quite defensive and moody.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” Jeff heard himself say, he hadn’t really thought about it, he just wanted to end this now, sort things out before they got worse.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Jeff.” Ryan replied evenly as Jeff stood up defiantly.

“Guess none of you will come with me then.”

Silence reigned for a couple of beats.

“Fine. Chip, you can take my place.” Jeff said as he left the room, forcing himself not to look back at the others, so didn’t catch Ryan’s worried gaze…

Jeff walked slowly up the three flights of stairs, pushing open the fire door and walking along the empty corridor, his footsteps sounding impossibly loud, even against the soft plush carpet beneath his feet.

He stopped in front of Greg’s room and saw no slit of light from under the door frame…

Jeff supposed him being there in the dark could be a possibility, but a bit unlikely, even in Greg’s current state - More likely Greg just wasn’t there.

Jeff knocked anyway and listened, ear craned close against the cool wood of the door.

After what seemed like forever but was probably only a few seconds he sighed and moved away in defeat.

He headed back down the stairs, wondering if Greg could be in one of the other public places of the hotel, but a little voice in his head told him it was unlikely.

When he reached the lobby he glanced back over to the main bar for a second as he passed, heading straight out into the cold night air.

He stood shivering for a second in his jeans and plain black shirt before wrapping his arms round himself and stepping forward down the hotel steps.

Jeff studied his options, right just led onto housing estates, left was a bit more likely – heading further downtown towards bars, clubs and the like.

There was also a park across the road, and the hotel car park maybe?

He decided to start nearby and work outwards in the search, squinting in the darkness to see if he could distinguish any Greg like shapes against the shadows of the parked vehicles.

Jeff searched quietly for a few minutes, he thought of calling out but decided against it as he continued looking.

He was about to give up and cross over to the park when on a whim he wandered further round the back of the hotel, letting out a sigh of…

Relief?

Hesitation?

Something anyway, when he saw a dim light coming from their tour bus.

Jeff wrapped his arms tighter round himself as he headed towards the bus, climbing the steps slowly and peering round, blinking at the slight change in light, his eyes focusing on Greg sat in the back corner, a now empty glass on the table next to him and a cigarette balanced between his fingers.

“Greg?” Jeff asked quietly as he stepped towards him.

“Leave me alone.” Greg whispered defensively.

His tone made Jeff feel like he’d been slapped in the face, but he kept moving anyway, stopping a couple of seats away and sitting down, facing Greg who turned away.

“We’re friends aren’t we? Please, what’s wrong?” Jeff hated pleading, he felt so helpless like a little boy. But Greg had often felt him feel like that – A little boy with a silly crush.

Greg let out a bitter laugh that both confused and slightly scared Jeff.

“What’s so funny?” He whispered quietly as Greg stabbed out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray and stood up.

“This whole fucking situation!” Greg spat back as he stormed off, his footsteps clattering loudly on the metal steps as he left Jeff alone on the bus.

Jeff stared after him for a few seconds, a distressed and worried feeling slowly building.

What situation?

He pulled himself to his feet and dashed to door of the bus, looking round to see where Greg had gone. He spotted him walking quickly across the car park, already having covered quite a bit of distance.

“Greg!” Jeff shouted out involuntarily, only succeeding in making Greg quicken his pace, hurrying over the road and into the park at the other side.

Jeff suddenly launched after him, running as fast as he could to catch up, he had to understand what was happening.

What had changed?

…What did Greg know?

He sped across the road blindly, narrowly missing being caught by a car. He reached the other side, pausing just for a moment to catch his breath before setting off running again.

After about ten seconds he’d almost managed to catch up with the older man who was still storming forward but breathing heavily too.

“Greg stop!” Jeff panted, grabbing Greg’s arm to try and get him to stop.

Greg did stop, but pulled his arm back, jerking Jeff forward and round till he was facing Greg, almost loosing his balance in the process.

Greg then shook Jeff off him and took a step back, his face illuminated by a nearby streetlight.

“Don’t touch me.” He hissed, his voice angry but mixed with fear and confusion, as well as something Jeff couldn’t quite place

“Greg, just tell me what’s wrong – Is it about–”

“–Don’t! – You have no fucking right to talk about her man!” Greg shouted suddenly, stepping forward and just for a second Jeff was sure Greg was going to hit him – Reacting by closing his eyes and just waiting for the punch to come…

Nothing.

Jeff opened his eyes again hesitantly to find Greg on his knees, staring at the floor, a tear rolling down his cheek.

He could barely take in the sight, Greg looked so tormented…So broken.

Jeff wished Greg was his, then he could take him in his arms and fix everything. But of course all he could do is just be a friend…

They stayed frozen like that for some time before Jeff gathered the courage to open his mouth to speak, but somehow Greg beat him to it, whispering quietly under his breath…

“What?”

“I said why did you have to fucking ruin everything?” Greg repeated a bit louder, his voice rising in pitch though fighting to keep it even.

Jeff blinked and felt a wave of fear.

Greg knew.

How the hell could he know?

He swallowed and forced words to leave his mouth. “What did I do?”

“Fucking told me you loved me, that’s what you did!” Greg screamed up at him, his words shocking the strength from Jeff who collapsed onto his knees next to Greg.

He slowly raised his eyes, his eyes mirroring Greg’s fear and confusion as they met hesitantly. “I never…”

“…First night of the tour, you got pissed out of your mind.”

Jeff nodded dumbly, he remembered feeling happy at seeing Greg again, then depressed like hell at the thought of him going back on his solo tour then home to his wife in a couple of months, and had got drunk as a result…

“We started teasing you about not having found a woman yet…You said you didn’t want a woman…You just wanted me…” Greg trailed off, he didn’t think he could handle this.

Jeff didn’t know what was the right thing to say, or even if there was a right thing to say. He felt like fleeing, but couldn’t will his legs to work.

“…We?”

“Me and Ryan.”

Jeff nodded dumbly again – In a way that made sense, everything was starting to make sense now.

“At first we thought you were joking…But then it was obvious you meant it…” Greg trailed off again and Jeff dreaded to think just what he’d done to make it obvious…

“…Then the next morning you acted like nothing happened. It fucking threw me man. Then I realised you didn’t even remember…At first I tried to forget it, say it didn’t matter but I kept noticing little things – The way you kept glancing at me over meals, how you’d always stand so close as we walked, and tried to sit next to me all the time…How concerned you got as noticing all this affected me…It was like I could see clearly for the first time, whether I wanted to or not and it was driving me crazy…I just feel…” Greg stopped his speech as a strangled sob caught in his throat and Jeff felt awash with guilt.

All this time it had been him making Greg miserable and he hadn’t even realised…

“I’m sorry.” Jeff whispered through silent, free falling tears. “I never meant to tell you…I knew I couldn’t coz you didn’t feel the same and it would only screw things up between us…”

“…I don’t feel the same…” Greg confirmed quietly, making Jeff’s heart sink lower, even though he knew that already.


“But I feel…I…I called Jen last night…I had to talk to her…Told her everything…So understanding…I’ve never deserved her…” Jeff felt a sob hitch at his throat at hearing Greg talk so lovingly about his wife…

And now she knew…

One more person to add to the list of those who must hate him…

“…I don’t think I’d have been able to get through this without her …” Greg added and Jeff felt his cheeks flush with anger.

“Get through what? Coming to terms I have feelings for you by pushing me away till you can deal with getting rid of me completely till I’m a part of your past so you never have to deal with me wrecking your world and making things difficult again!?” Jeff doubted whether what he just said made sense in the slightest but he didn’t care anymore, why should he?

“No Jeff that’s not it at all man!” Greg retorted desperately, burying his head in his hands.

“Then what!? If my feelings are gonna be out in the open – Whether I want them to be or not - It’s only fair for me to know where the hell I stand!”

“I can’t…” Greg whispered so quietly in comparison, his voice on the verge of cracking again.

“Why not!?” Jeff cried frustratedly, grasping the older man by his open jacket in desperation.

Greg reacted by pushing Jeff hard in the chest to put some distance between them again.

Jeff fell back onto the grass, still holding onto Greg, so pulling him over too. Jeff’s legs were bent uncomfortably under the combined weight of him and Greg, but all he could focus on was Greg and the thought that both their worlds were crashing and burning now Greg knew the truth.

Greg tried to get up but Jeff wouldn’t let go, his attempts somehow ending up in being rolled over and pinned by the younger man, his glasses falling off into the grass somewhere in the process.

“Why not?” Jeff repeated in panting breaths as he sat on Greg’s chest, struggling to hold him down.

Greg let out a whimper and gave up squirming, laying his head back on the ground and blinking at the blurred Jeff like shape in front of him.

“I don’t feel the same.” He whispered, his words hurting Jeff just as much as they had the first time.

“But I feel…Something.”

Jeff blinked, staring down into Greg’s unfocused eyes, searching for the meaning behind those words. “…What?”

“I don’t know…It’s hard to explain…” Greg replied quietly, misunderstanding Jeff’s use of the word ‘what’ slightly.

Jeff swallowed, painfully aware of the beating in his chest, his closeness to Greg and just what Greg might be trying to imply behind his words. The whole situation was like his worst nightmare combined with his most desired fantasy, though he’d never imagined it turning out quite like this…

He’d never seen Greg like this for a start. He was always so strong and confident in his own way, not like the shy, confused man underneath him…

Though if anything, seeing this more vulnerable side of Greg just made Jeff love him more…

“Oh fuck it!” Jeff cursed to himself, moving to push himself off Greg before he was tempted to do something stupid but was stopped by Greg grabbing at his shirt.

“Jeff wait.”

Jeff licked his lips nervously, sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest – They weren’t on stage now, this was real…

“Sorry for running man, just…God this is deep shit.” Greg sighed and Jeff couldn’t help but chuckle at his summing up of the situation.

He rolled off Greg onto the grass, careful to mind his glasses, picking them up and passing them to the other man.

“Thanks.” Greg mumbled, fumbling slightly as he put them on before turning his head slightly to study the now in focus Jeff.

Jeff nodded in response, a slight nervous smile on his lips at the way Greg was watching him so intently.

There were many more unspoken things between them that needed to be said…

But right now none of that mattered.

All that mattered was this moment, everything silent in the almost dark except for the electrical flickering of the nearby streetlamp and their quiet breathing as they lay watching each other, waiting to see where things went from here…

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: sleepy sleepy
Current Music: "Why Don't You & I" - Santana featuring Alex Band

19 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
lady529 From: lady529 Date: June 18th, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aww, I love it when they're being sweet!

The Lady 529

Oh, good job, btw. Figured that might be worth mentioning : )
zombie_kitty666 From: zombie_kitty666 Date: June 18th, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
aw thankies hun, glad you like it and I love them being sweet too *pets Greg & Jeff lovingly*
lady529 From: lady529 Date: June 18th, 2007 08:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
In addition to liking Greg more and more, I like Jeff more and more as well. Add the fact that my paranoid little self (and it's brain) is rather fond of conspiracy theories (well, some of them. I don't care if Elvis was kidnapped by yellow aliens with purple hair), I think that plus your fic means my next one is that those two boys are cuddling just a bit too close to just be friends. Not that they'd ever admit it, I mean, Ryan and Colin have definitely been doing that longer, and you never hear either of them admitting to anything. Still, as long as Ryan keeps looking at Colin the way he does, I couldn't care less. They're mancuddling. End of story.

The Lady 529
zombie_kitty666 From: zombie_kitty666 Date: June 18th, 2007 09:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
heh I now want to write some fluffy drabble fics just for the purpose of writing mancuddling lol - And just a general yay for Greg and Jeff coz they deserved to be liked a *lot*...Now have an urge to watch them together in gss...
lady529 From: lady529 Date: June 18th, 2007 09:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wriiiite the mancuddling..

The (Greg and Jeff-liking) Lady 529
the_empressar From: the_empressar Date: June 18th, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

OHHHH

You left me hangin' Woman!!!! I want to know what happens next!!!!! Good angst!! I love me some angst!!
zombie_kitty666 From: zombie_kitty666 Date: June 18th, 2007 08:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: OHHHH

hehe glad you like it and sorry for leaving you hangin' but it just seemed a good place to end it...I suppose there could always be room for a sequel though.
mizzmeow From: mizzmeow Date: June 19th, 2007 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't have a Greg/Jeff icon to use at the moment, or I would use it here. Nice angsy piece of work. :) I have a soft spot for Greg/Jeff. While they aren't my OTP, I do ship them lovingly. <3

*cuddles Jeff and Greg, and hopes that they will find a happy ending*
zombie_kitty666 From: zombie_kitty666 Date: June 19th, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
*pets Greg/Jeff lovingly* they aren't my OTP, but they are getting close, just love the adorablness of them, and glad you like the story, though next time I write Greg/Jeff it will probably be fluff...I hope - depends on my imagination which has a bad track record with going where I want it to...
shandi_mai From: shandi_mai Date: June 19th, 2007 05:58 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh wow. As always, that was amazing :) I want this to continue!! I wanna know what happens with them.

And even though i usually prefer Jeff with Chip, this was so emotional and lovely and heartbreaking and wonderful that right now i totally revoke Chip in favour of Greg. Well, not totally... :)

Mmmmm Jeff sounded so sexy as well :)

xxxxxxxx
zombie_kitty666 From: zombie_kitty666 Date: June 19th, 2007 05:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glad you like it, I could make a sequel like I said to Empressar, but I don't know if I will, I quite like where I left it really.

I like Chip with Jeff too, though Greg's my fav guy for him, Which makes me wonder who I'd like Chip with if Greg and Jeff were off mancuddling somewhere...Ryan *maybe* mostly based on the cuteness and this HD where Chip was a prisoner and Ry the guard, and another HD where Chip was a prison guard frisking Ry for contraband stuff...I settled on Brad though, probably because of their personas in this sci fi type fic I'm slowly working on, though Chip is most adorable with Jeff I think...Which clashes with my Greg/Jeff love, but that already clashes with the Greg/Ry, Greg/Col and Greg/Drew love so I'm thinking all the pairings just need to play nice and live together in slashy harmony lol...
shandi_mai From: shandi_mai Date: June 20th, 2007 02:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Haha :)

I agree. Even though i love Jeff/Chip and Brad/Ryan i've also written some Brad/Chip coz i think they're so cute (especially in the Improv All Stars where they sit at the back and giggle together like children) I also like Greg/Ryan and Greg/Jeff and Greg/Brad (Greg Greg Greg) and i like Ryan/Colin. I even kinda like Jeff/Brad, which is a pairing no one has really explored yet. Oooh the posibilities :)

xxxxx
caelith From: caelith Date: June 19th, 2007 09:22 am (UTC) (Link)
Don't know if I'd want a sequel to this, I rather like the ending. The image of them sitting on the grass and looking at eachother is great.

Very enjoyable.
zombie_kitty666 From: zombie_kitty666 Date: June 19th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Mhm I like that too, though it wasn't originally how I ended it, but I like this much more. The more I think about it, the less I want to write a sequel, though *maybe* a small companion piece possibly - From Ry's POV...I dunno...
sungreen70 From: sungreen70 Date: June 20th, 2007 02:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Very nice :) I adore Greg/Jeff and I like how you wrote them here. I think their relationship would be a pretty complex one and you've captured that well. Good work!
sess_satan From: sess_satan Date: June 20th, 2007 03:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Stupid, dark comment box...I can't see to write...

Anywhoo, as I said on MSN, great fic. Still can't relate much to the Greg/Jeffness, but the writing itself is supoib!

I agree with...I think it was Cae, or whoever it was who said it didn't really need a sequel. It's left on a nice image, and you don't need to continue it further.
Saying that, if you feel the need to write a sequel, I would be more than happy to give it a read! :P
.x.Sess.x.
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 5th, 2007 07:45 am (UTC) (Link)

fantastic thing you are doing

Hi all!

Great book. I just want to say what a fantastic thing you are doing! Good luck!


G'night



From: chickabud Date: August 26th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Wow.....!!!!!

Hey, ZK!!!!!

Well, first I'm totally amazed that I didn't figure out you wrote this... I must have read it like five times. Having said that each time I loved it more and more. Each time I read it I felt so heartbroken for Jeff, slight anger towards Greg (which of course subsided the more I read) and just general *ohhhhhhhhh* at the total adorableness of this pairing and the story!!!! This got me totally hooked on the idea of greg/jeff!!! Anywho, just wanted to show my appreciation for your work!! Keep it up!!! *HUGS*
zombie_kitty666 From: zombie_kitty666 Date: August 26th, 2007 07:30 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Wow.....!!!!!

Awwww thankies dear, it really means a lot to know how much you love it, even if I'm still not totally happy with it (Though I doubt I ever will be)
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